Are you Jewish enough to get married in Israel?

For those unfamiliar with the process of marriage in Israel, there are a few major hurdles to overcome before planning that big event in the country where you might have taken it for granted that getting married, without a hassle, would be a foregone conclusion.

To begin with, only an Orthodox rabbi is officially recognized to perform a ceremony which will make you legally married in the eyes of the State. This means that if you happen to be part of the Conservative or Reform branches of Judaism, your own rabbi will not be able to perform the ceremony, since he is not eligible to do so. But wait, there’s more!

Even if you’ve immigrated to Israel, which would have necessitated stringent proof of Jewish heritage, that may still not be enough!  Because, when making your request for a Jewish wedding, you will have had to pass the scrutiny of a “Judaism inspector.” Up until now, it has been the role of such an individual “to verify the Jewishness of those seeking to marry or divorce, particularly focusing on immigrants whose Jewish identity is in question.”

Once the system became untenable, given the fact that “more than 30,000 immigrants have had their Jewishness questioned by rabbinical courts,” this very overbearing process became so personally invasive that it finally came to the attention of a rabbinical judge who, himself, ended up criticizing the handling of what should have always been a relatively simple procedure.  

The senior Supreme Rabbinical Court judge, Rabbi Shlomo Shapira agreed that these inspectors were “overstepping their bounds” by trying to dig deep into the background of those who were already granted citizenship.

Ironically, in the case of native-born Israelis, even those who are secular or possibly atheists, would not be subjected to this kind of rigorous snooping, because the fact that they were born in the country, excludes them from having their Jewishness questioned in any way. 

Although they may have never stepped foot into a synagogue, observed Shabbat or celebrated the holidays, their religious customs and habits are an irrelevant factor, making them automatically eligible for an Orthodox marriage. The only condition which may be required, would be the woman undergoing a ritual purification bath, called a “mikveh,” prior to the wedding, but even this is not always demanded, especially for members of kibbutzim, who are generally secular and, therefore, not expected to comply. 

But other than that exception, it got to the point where ITIM, an Israeli organization, dedicated to religious inclusivity, got involved, after a number of disenfranchised Israelis, whose Jewishness had been rejected, turned to the organization asking for their help. One such person, seeking a divorce, was an Israeli soldier who had served in Gaza. Imagine that – she was Jewish enough to fight for her country, at the risk of being killed, but not perceived as Jewish enough to be granted a divorce.

Even though, at the time of her marriage, she successfully proved her Jewishness, she was still requested to undergo genetic testing in order to evaluate her heritage. There is no doubt that such a demand is both insulting and a slap in the face to a woman who already had proven her ethnicity to the satisfaction of some rabbi who granted her the right to be married in Israel.

It is this kind of intrusive and heavy-handed oversight which has turned off a number of Israeli couples from tying the knot, knowing that not only would they have to jump through hoops to get married, but if, one day, they decided to split up, they would not have the freedom to do so without first going through, yet, another invasive ordeal where rabbis can decide to force the couple to go through a series of counseling in order to stay together, even in cases where abuse is alleged.

While saving a marriage, especially if children are involved, is looked upon as the honorable thing to do, realistically, it is not always possible, and when the intervention of a rabbinical committee becomes an unwelcomed intruder, into the lives of a couple, forbidding them to separate, this is the type of interference which, once word gets out, others hope to avoid.  That is why many couples end up living together without officially marrying.

I can still remember the principal of the first school where I worked in Israel, saying in Hebrew, “I already danced on the steps of the rabbinate when trying to get divorced, so I will never marry again.” In essence, she was saying that she played their game once, but that was enough for her. 

Now that it was discovered that more than 20% of all marriage requests are being rejected, the conclusion of a group of rabbis, hearing the issue, was that these kinds of decisions were “undermining the authority of the rabbinical courts, causing thousands of people to have their Jewishness rejected.”

It was further determined that the “certification department had interfered with the court’s rulings, bypassing their authority, even to the point of hiding information from judges.” Without that coveted certification, it became impossible to make any personal decisions on marriage or divorce, ultimately being held captive until such time that someone in authority would intervene. Now they have.  

Itim director, Rabbi Seth Farber, who has always endeavored to bring a more open-minded approach to matters such as these, believes that anyone approaching rabbinical courts should automatically be presumed as being Jewish. Obviously, individuals would not defer to these rabbis if they didn’t feel a sense of obligation to go through these official channels, so why make things all the more difficult for them when they seek to do the right thing?

Now, Rabbi Farber feels justified in his advocacy, stating that “It is exceptionally rare to have a chief Rabbinical Court justice criticize the entire system of the rabbinical courts.” In short, he knows that things have gotten so out of hand that it can no longer be justified, even by the chief justice.

Seeing this issue as one which represents a clear injustice, especially targeting immigrants from the former Soviet Union, there is now a renewed sense of hope that things will change, bringing a policy of fairness and proper respect to those who have already undergone sufficient investigation to be recognized as Jewish, earning them the right to be married in their homeland. After all, isn’t that the way it ought to be?